Captive Butterfly
by GothicRinoa
Summary: (AU) Hisoka reaching 16 was sent off to private school and out of his parents way. Finding himself mentally unstable and angry with himself he begins to wish life was different.
1. Prologue

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** I haven't wrote for along time. Oi. But I found that possibly I can keep at this one since its similar to me and my friends RP. I feel more encouraged since I have some ideas. But there may be a overdose of angst and some possible future warnings. This is AU and based mostly on Hisoka in the beginning.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

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**_Prologue_**

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The blurs of reds, oranges, and browns sped by. It seemed to continuously repeat as if by now they were actually stuck on that same road. Hisoka's eyes were fixed towards the window. He felt his stomach churn uneasily as the same scenery began to embed into his mind. Plus the bumps that the car hit weren't helping.

But maybe he was glad to be where he was. At least it wasn't home. The uneasy feeling he had was actually making him feel a bit happy. It could have been a rather complicated situation. Let alone his whole life was already one frustrating, complicating situation.

At times like this he wished he could close everyone out. Lock out every twisted feeling and memory that had been seeping into his mind ever since he was born. He didn't just have his own thoughts and memories but everyone else's.

He was an empath. Very unique and gifted as some would claim it to be. Others would claim it to be a bad omen or even a curse. That's what his parents felt him to be, a waste of time and not good enough o be part of their family. Right now Hisoka didn't care what they thought he knew they loathed and hated him.

When he turned 16 his father and mother registered him into a private school. He didn't know it was so far out o the way. Not that he really truly cared since it was far away from his family. It was a long and peaceful drive and the driver was quiet and felt it best to leave the boy to his thoughts.

You'd think being taken from a home-schooled environment to a actually school would frighten someone. Hisoka was fine with this yet the feeling of having to converse with others bothered him. Yet he was ensured that he would have his own dorm room to himself where no one would bother him. He decided he could use the alone time to his advantage.

He simply adored the fact that he could wake up and his parents would not be there. To yell, hate and despise him at his very presence.

He let out a long sigh and continued to stare and contemplate while watching the passing repetitive scenery. It was late October and the leaves on the trees were a mixture of earthy colors. Most of them were nearly bare, except for the select few which had leaves barely clinging to the branches.

Secretly Hisoka wished horrible things on himself. Many times he wished he could simply disappear from this crazy world he was born to. He hated himself.

He felt disappointed in himself.

He felt unnoticed and unwanted.

Was it his appearance, actions, his ability?

Deep down inside he was a scared and frightened child.

The car set to a halt and Hisoka groggily snapped out of his daze and looked at his surroundings. A large building stood in front of him. The vines had grown up everywhere around the building but other than that the school grounds looked well kept. He checked the time and realized just how late it was. Everyone must be in the dormitory rooms.

He thanked the driver and paid him for the long trip. He gathered his luggage and headed for his soon to be residence for the next coming months.

tbc.

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End of the prologue. Hopefully I can get all my thoughts together and come up with another chapter soon since the prologue was very short. Hope for more Hisoka angst! 


	2. Chapter 1

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** I just finished the second chapter. I really think I need a beta reader since I don't catch my own mistakes as some people had pointed out. I have reveiled a bit more but other then that I DO hae original characters but there will be alot of the YnM cast involved so don't worry. I have alot of plots up my sleeve just need to get them down. I really hope this chapter helped capture the setting and understanding. I sometimes am a little off in explanations. If thre are any questions ask them and I will answer them in the author notes next update. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

**_Chapter 1_**

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Grumbling to himself as he dragged all his belongings into what seemed to be a quiet building. A middle-aged man greeted him at the entrance. He was quite taller then himself and had grey patches starting to become quite noticeable in his hair. The man has to be the headmaster of the school. 

The man smiled at the boy, "Welcome, welcome. I'm glad to see you have arrived safely young man." His hand outstretched for a handshake.

Hisoka nodded a greeting to him and didn't feel like being overly formal so he kept the luggage firmly in grip. "Thank you sir." He said in a soft tone. Hisoka gazed slowly around the entranceway. It was rather large and well kept but it had a nostalgic feel to it.

Old paintings, documents and small posters were posted to areas on the wall, which most likely contained school history as well as specific school events for promotions. He didn't really care but he felt the need to at least look at his surroundings.

The flooring was old and creaky but this was one of those old buildings where you could hear every snap and pop from the floorboards and walls. It in some ways reminded him of his home. The old traditional look and area only repaired unless needed. Trying to protect something so fragile and important only to have it be destroyed by nature over time.

A sigh escaped his body as his he finally snapped back to the present for the second time that morning. He then noticed the headmaster was trying to get his attention.

"O-oh, I'm sorry sir. I'm sort of amazed by such a beautiful building." He hated the fact that he had to lie. But he truly didn't like the school, only the fact that he was alone. Otherwise this place was a nightmare.

He could only imagine ALL the over excited students and crowds he would have to encounter. It was murder to his very mind. The strong emotions of school events, overly friendly crowds and he dreaded having to meet these very people. Right now he was very angry, tired and nauseous. He hoped the headmaster would just let him get settled in his room once he was there.

"Well Kurosaki-kun, if you would like I can show you to your room?" Hisoka snapped his head to look at the headmaster. "The dormitory is on the far end of the school. It will be a long walk can you manage?"

Hisoka nodded lying to him for the second time that very morning. He felt physically and mentally drained. He just wished he could sleep for the rest of the day. Every muscle in his body almost burned and the luggage he carried just seemed to continue to get heavier.

Closing his eyes and with a sudden burst of energy he lifted the carrying cases.

The headmaster pushed open, a rather large door and turned left down the corridor. Hisoka followed after him not wanting to get left behind. But the weight of the luggage just slowed him down even more. What did he pack? He really couldn't remember. Living at home he didn't have much for possessions. His family never really presented him anything special or important. Just the clothing he owned and specific objects that he had already.

He didn't get a chance to really observe the rest of the building but he knew he had passed a lot of rooms where he could only figure they were classrooms. He only heard faint voices drifting from different rooms other then that the building was quiet.

Seeing the headmaster waiting for him ahead of him Hisoka forced his body to move forward trying his best to hide his discomfort from his fatigue. He didn't want to make a fuss from being there for only a few minutes. The last thing he wanted was people questioning, crowding and bothering him.

"Now, Kurosaki-kun, this is the dorm area. This is the usual passage the students take after class or going to class. If you would like to lave the dorm area to go outside there is a quicker way down the south hall here." The headmaster pointed in specific directions and doors and Hisoka could only merely nod in reply not caring what he was saying, he just wanted to see his room since it felt like his arms detach from his body from the heft of the luggage. He would explore on his own later.

"Ah, well just who I wanted to see!" The headmaster beamed at the newer person present. "Glenn, this is Kurosaki Hisoka. This new student has just joined with us. I would like you to help him if he has any questions."

Hisoka looked up at the young man, his hair was a dark brown and tousled around the back. His eyes were dark and he had a plastered grin on his face that almost seemed sickening. He was taller and his build was toned but not overly noticeable.

Glenn held out a hand to him but Hisoka shrugged in discomfort since he couldn't exactly shake the boy's hand. "Ah, that's fine! I'm Glenn, I'm at room 132 so if you ever need to ask any questions I'm here to help." The grin was still there and Hisoka simply forced a smile upon his face in reply.

Hisoka almost threw the luggage at the boy in anger but refrained from causing a commotion with the head of the dorms. Glenn seemed to have strong excited emotion radiating off him. He seemed like one of those get involved with every activity people. Hisoka wasn't about to judge someone so fast but he wasn't in the mood or mental frame of mind to let people befriend him.

"Ah, Glenn I apologize but could you show Kurosaki-kun to his room? I have some business to attend to at the office and it would be of great help if you could even show him around." The headmaster looked with trusting eyes at the brown haired boy. "His uniforms and schedules are in his room. I'll leave it to you that he gets situated fine."

Glenn nodded and smiled. "I'll do my best sir!"

The headmaster left them both and Hisoka groaned inwardly. He looked over at the overly happy boy and felt his stomach turn almost instantly. He felt like he was going to collapse but somehow he held it back.

"This way Kurosaki was it?" Glenn still smiled and motioned for him to follow.

"Yes. Kurosaki Hisoka." He replied in a monotone voice. He didn't want to sound excited since he feared that the head of the dorm would return the excited attitude. He kept a small distance between himself and Glenn as they walked. The closer he walked the worse he felt so he kept the distance trying not to make it noticeable to his escort.

Their footsteps echoed in the hallway as they watched for his dorm number to come by. The dorm area was separated in different sections depending on what class a student was in is depended on where they were placed. The under classmen were situated and placed downstairs as to the upper class men were placed upstairs above them.

Thank god for being an underclassman. Hisoka didn't have any energy to go up a flight of stairs. Since Hisoka was home schooled the faculty at this school felt Hisoka should be held back a grade to his age. Yet if he redeemed to be a solid student and over achieved in the current work they could boost him ahead.

Yet to Hisoka he didn't care. Truthfully he didn't want to study, and be told what to do and when to have things done. He was sick of it. He liked to read but as of right now he wanted to read for himself not some stuck up old teacher.

His father forced him to study and ordered him to do everything. He hated it. He knew his father did it out of hate not love. His father never cared for his personal feelings only that he listen to his every beckon and command like a dog. Yes he was the heir to their family and he needed to be knowledgeable of things but that didn't give his father any right to push him around like some stranger.

His ability is what set him back from being loved and there was nothing he could do to escape it. It made him mentally and physically weak at times. He wasn't what his father wanted in a son. He was only good to his father as being a blood heir nothing more. Not as a father and son relationship.

His mother was just as bad, always on the side to scold him for very mistake made. She had an awful attitude when it comes to Hisoka. She was hateful to him. She blamed him for every problem. He remembered her locking him into his room for days at a time and only haring distraught and angry words come from her mouth. He remembered as a child being confused and scared. He didn't understand why his parents were so cruel. Every punishment he was given was confusion to him.

He never or could recall having a friend or someone he could talk to freely. But why did he need one when all they would end up doing was stabbing him in the back later. This people at this school would be no different. Everyone is scared of something that is different and unique and they fear it to their very core.

He hoped he could at least last the school year in his room without any aggravation or problems. The last thing he needed was for someone to discover that he was different. He didn't know if it was going to be possible but either way if they knew or didn't know eventually everyone would leave him alone. Either from being afraid of him just gets the hint that he doesn't want to be friendly.

This was all so confusing he didn't know really what to think. He really needed to stop dazing off like this.

He looked up to see Glenn stop ahead of him. Hisoka jerked to a stop and looked at the door that they faced.

"This is your room, 220! It's been vacant for awhile now since the last student, well you didn't hear this from me, but they were caught bringing other boys to the room and well you know what I mean!" Glenn said quite bluntly. He really seemed like a gossip.

Hisoka stared at him and ignored that comment since Glenn ended up laughing like a maniac. He really wanted to steer clear of him now.

Hisoka almost rolled his eyes in annoyance but decided to open the door up and go inside. "Thank you, but I'll be fine from here." Hisoka said in a low voice.

He almost knew that the boy was pouting but didn't look back to verify it. "Aww, fine but I was looking forward to showing you around. There's a lot of know about this school, like where your classes are, the best places to hang out, the cafeteria, you know. Just letting you know you might get lost." Glenn sounded disappointed but Hisoka was definitely not in the mood.

He quickly refused the offer yet again. "No thank you. I would rather unpack and rest for the day. I had a long trip." He placed his luggage down on the floor and turned to the boy. "I want to be alone." He said sounded rather cold.

Glenn made an awkward face at him but removed it and smiled. "You're right I suppose. I'll be by later if you ever change your mind. I'll introduce you to some of your classmates maybe?"

Hisoka sighed. "Maybe."

Glenn grinned that same stupid plastered on look and Hisoka looked away. "Great, see you later then." He waved happily to the exhausted Hisoka and closed the door as he left.

Hisoka let out a long breath and slumped down on the freshly made bed. He rubbed his aching arms and looked around the empty room.

It had everything. A dresser, closet and even a bathroom and shower built in. It was better this way he had thought to himself. He could do whatever he wanted and not let people tell him differently. It was his room. Personally he could classify it as his sanctuary.

He still felt tired so he lay down on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling. He knew his thoughts would overtake his mind so he closed his eyes and hoped that he would get some needed sleep.

It seemed like he lie there for an eternity and still his eyes just would not stay shut. He felt exhausted but no matter how many times he forced his eyes shut he just couldn't drift off to sleep.

He began to wonder what sort of classes he would have. He had never been to an actual classroom with other students let alone with another person other then his father teaching him. Would they be as strict or would they be different then what he imagined.

Eventually the boy sat up dangling his legs over the side of the bed and looked at the small desk near him. There were a few papers neatly placed which he suspected were the schedules.

He reached for them and gently picked them up. "A school map…" He muttered skimming over the papers. "I don't need that guy to show me around."

He flipped through the pages and saw his class schedule. "Great." He said with the least amount of enthusiasm. "I suppose these are all the standard classes."

Slowly he traced his finger down the paper. "Oh, my teacher." Scanning over the paper carefully he came upon his teacher's name. "Tsuzuki…Asato." He shrugged a bit and set the papers back on the desk.

Feeling his fatigue come back he decided to lie back down. "Tsuzuki Asato, probably some old windbag with boring lectures."

Finally after closing his yes for this last time he drifted off to sleep hoping that this nightmare would soon come to an end.

tbc.

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Till next update! 


	3. Chapter 2

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** Introduction to more YnM chara's here. It may not be the best but I hope you like it. I really need someone to go over this fic, beta reading would be much appreciated but I don't know many people or anyone who would help. ; Otherwise please bare with th errors and such. Sometimes MS Word doesn't catch all my typos either. Other then that I hope you liek this next chapter. Things may seem repetitive but hopefully not bad.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

**_Chapter 2_**

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Hisoka snapped awake rather startled and scared. Almost forgetting where he was he bolted up in his bed and looked around the now pitch dark room. It was already nighttime and he rubbed his eyes fiercely trying to get them to adjust to the darkness. He was breathing heavily, his head was pounding and a sweat had formed over his body.

There was something else that had disturbed his sleep though. He heard a rapid knocking at his door. He groggily stood up from the bed and stumbled towards the doorway.

"I'm coming…" He muttered in an annoyed voice.

He opened the door and squinted since the brightness from the hallway was blinding. But he could make out the familiar figure that stood before him. That stupid look could never be mistaken.

"Hey, Hisoka-san. I've been knocking for the past 5 minutes, I thought you might have went out to look around but I decided to keep knocking thinking that you were asleep." He stopped and blinked at the boy. "Oh sorry you were sleeping weren't you?"

Hisoka rubbed his forehead. "Yes, I _was_." He tried not to sound angry but he couldn't help himself. "Is there something you want?"

Glenn stared at the now paled boy and with his personality it was completely obvious what he was going to say. "Hisoka-san are you ok? You don't look so good. Are you sick?" Glenn questioned sounding concerned.

Hisoka frowned and nearly glared at Glenn. "I'm fine. I asked you if there was something you wanted and if not I would like it if you left me alone." He stated angrily. Hisoka was about to shut the door on him but Glenn wedged his foot in the opening.

"Maybe you should go see the doctor! You don't look well and without a roommate you'll be in trouble if you get worse!" Glenn forced the door open and knocked the boy to the floor with ease.

Hisoka was getting sick of this. He wanted to scream and beat Glenn to a pulp but right now he sat to the floor feeling something creeping up his throat and his nausea returning. Everything was spinning. His body ached and muscles burned like that had been set aflame from the inside.

Glenn rushed over to the weakened boy and knelt down next to him with a concerned look. "Hey, hey! Are you ok?" His voice seemed to echo into Hisoka's head. It was almost deafening. "Hisoka-san!"

Hisoka could feel his body slump to the floor in exhaustion. His breathing had begun to become irregular and he could feel the cold sweat pouring down his neck. This wasn't good. He grit his teeth trying to snap himself out of it and get this boy out of his room. Hisoka thought nothing could get any worse but Glenn reached down swiftly and placed a hand over the cold, pale forehead which caused Hisoka's condition to worsen since the emotion Glenn was emitting became more than he could handle.

Hisoka gasped and everything around him seemed to go black and his consciousness slowly ebbing away from him. He didn't want it to come down to something like this. He couldn't do a thing about it. The one thing he wanted to keep hidden was his ability. He knew Glenn wouldn't understand exactly what was wrong with him but he just didn't want to cause a commotion.

He didn't want anyone to feel concern for him. He feared and disliked people treating him like a friend when that was not what he wanted. He didn't want a friend. He didn't want concern, compassion, and he definitely did not want love. He was denied it all his life why would he want to accept it.

He knew that concern, compassion and love came hand in hand with anger, distrust and fear. He didn't want to experience or relive the pain of having others push him around like a doll.

He wanted to keep his problems to himself. He wanted to wallow in his own despair. He knew there were reasons why people hated him.

The people of the world rejected him so in return he would reject them. He had been kicked around long enough to let any more people into his life. Then again he didn't know the last time when someone had been the least bit interested in his thoughts and feelings. No one ever thought of him as a human being but as a monster being brought to the world from the devil himself.

They were wrong, he didn't want to be called a monster and he didn't want to be pushed around. He barely got to enjoy anything in life. He was glad that he could learn about the outside world with the books his family had but none of that compared to the real thing.

He knew he could never experience any of these things let alone enjoy a normal life. So why should be bother trying anymore. He was beginning to give up on everything that he had hoped for as a small child.

Seeing the wide blue ocean that was shown and written about in the books. Traveling the world to see new and exciting things. This caused a lot of disappointment to a small child and along with the disappointment came the hatred and sullen attitude.

Yet some things just couldn't be changed.

Slowly his eyes began to flutter open and found himself in a dimly lit room with a white sheet pulled so to block out most of the light that the room had. He could hear low voices in the room as well as silhouettes that the sheet made of two people.

"He'll be fine Tatsumi-san. He just needs to rest."

"That's good to hear. If anything else occurs let me know and we'll get him to a hospital."

"Yes, I will. He had a slight fever but other then that I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"Still. You can't be too sure."

"I'll give him some medicine once he wakes."

"Ok. I'll notify Tsuzuki that his new student may not be able to come to classes."

"Thank you Tatsumi-san."

Hisoka pulled himself up a bit and leaned on his elbows. He watched as the tall figure moved away from the curtain and out of the room. The other figure was sitting in a chair near his bed and reality hit him on what had just happened.

He winced at the returning headache that he had earlier and let out a slight gasp. With that slight movement the curtain opened slightly and the shadowed figure poked his head in. He looked still quite young, most likely the school doctor, he had wavy blonde hair that was tied back in a ponytail as well as round glasses placed on the bridge of his nose as he observed his now awake

"Ah, your awake boy. How do you feel?" He asked taking a few steps closer to the still paled boy.

"I'm fine." He said simply not wanting to talk with anyone at the moment. "I just feel a bit tired that's all." Hisoka pushed some of his dirty blonde bangs from his face and glanced away from the smiling man.

"Here, you should take this medicine. It will help with the fever and you might be able to get some uninterrupted sleep tonight." He handed Hisoka the medicine and not wanting to cause a problem with someone else he took the medicine without complaint.

"Oh you probably don't know but I am Watari Yutaka, I'm the doctor at this school." He smiled at the boy who seemed to look at him with blank eyes. "And your Kurosaki Hisoka right?"

Hisoka nodded and laid down in the most comfortable way he could. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble."

Watari laughed a bit. "Don't be sorry. You can help it when you get sick. That's why I'm here. Are you normally a type of person to get an illness?" He questioned the young boy with concern.

Hisoka inwardly was grumbling. He didn't want any more concern. He didn't want people to worry about him. He wanted them to leave him alone. He didn't care if he was sick. He didn't care if he died. But as usual the boy shook him head in reply.

"I'm glad to hear that. Even though I love my job a lot I don't want people sick!" Watari sat back down on his chair and leaned back.

"What time is it?" Hisoka asked softly.

Watari turned and looked at the clock hanging on the ceiling. "It's after midnight."

Hisoka sighed and looked at Watari. "You really don't have to stay. You can go to your room and get some sleep."

Hisoka said that only for his own benefit since he just wanted to be alone again. He felt weird with something there hovering over him ever second to check on his health. It just seemed creepy knowing someone else was in the room. His trust wasn't very good.

Watari shook his head. "Sorry boy but I have to watch over you for the night to make sure you don't get any worse. Besides I love the nighttime. It's relaxing and can be very romantic if you set the mood." He laughed slightly and shook his head. "Well anyways. Enough talk you need to sleep."

Hisoka blinked and watched as Watari closed the curtain to the area and plop back down on his chair. He was annoyed and tried to get comfortable in the lumpy bed. He turned on his side away from Watari and closed his eyes slowly.

Why did all these things happen to him?

The room was actually quite cold so Hisoka pulled the blankets securely over his body. Maybe he could get out of his classes tomorrow. As of now he was not ready to confront any others. People just wouldn't leave him be. Yet they were only human and had the natural feelings of concern and love.

The night seemed to drag on. He could hear a faint ticking of a nearby clock. His headache had subsided so he felt more relaxed. His body tangled in the white sheets as he tossed. His thoughts would not let him drift off to sleep as usual.

He knew Watari was still awake he could, every so often, see him move. H didn't have to stay. Hisoka rubbed his tired eyes and looked up at the ceiling through the darkness.

Somewhere in-between that he found himself asleep and warmth was surrounding his body. He squinted finding the morning sunlight pouring in from the window. The curtain around the bed had been pulled back slightly and he didn't see Watari anywhere.

With a yawn Hisoka sat up and looked around some more for the smiling blonde man. He didn't care where he was. Maybe he could sneak out un-noticed and go back to his room. Quickly he found his shoes and pulled them on and went for the door.

"A boy, where are you going before I give the ok?" Watari's voice was cheerful yet concerned. He walked out from the room connected to the sick room and smiled at the boy.

Hisoka turned around sharply and blinked. "I…-."

"How do you feel?" Watari asked the startled boy.

"Better. Thank you." Hisoka said simply.

Watari smiled at him and laughed a bit. "You're free to go. I just want you to remember if you feel any worse to come back and see me."

Hisoka nodded and opened the door and slipped out. He sighed with relief and glanced around the hallway. He then realized he had no idea where he was. Surely it wouldn't be hard to make it back to his room. He hoped.

He wasn't sure what time it was but hopefully he could make it back to his room before a lot of the students were up and about. He didn't need any attention or rather that he didn't want to be stuck around in a crowd.

He walked as quick as he could down the hallway, stopping periodically to look for any familiar place. This whole school seemed to look the same every which way he went.

He suddenly felt his body collide with another. He gasped as the sudden surge of strong emotion ran through his mind and his body hit the floor. His whole body and mind was jolted. He didn't look up but could only hear the apologies that the other pleaded.

"Waaah, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

Papers were scattered around him. He began to collect himself mentally and grabbed for the papers.

"I- I'm fine." Hisoka stuttered still in slight shock. He gathered the rest of the papers and began to lift himself up from off the floor. "Here." He then looked up into beautiful amethyst eyes. He felt his breath stop and his heart pound.

"H-hey thanks!" The amethyst-eyed man exclaimed nervously. "I wasn't watching where I was going-. Hey are you new here?" He looked down at the unfamiliar face.

Hisoka couldn't speak he nodded slowly and turned away so not to embarrass himself by staring.

"I see! Well – um… sorry again about that!" He exclaimed. "I'm kind of late, again, so I have to go! Well see you!" The man ran past Hisoka franticly.

Hisoka watched and blinked at him and sighed. "Whoever he was … seems to be quite a baffled person…but his eyes were so beautiful." Hisoka shook his head. "What am I thinking? Stupid thoughts…" He muttered and looked down.

"I care for no one…"

tbc...

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Hopefully I can come up with the next chapter when I get some good inspiration. I'm gonna have to do a little bit of research on afew topics for this fic. XD hehe. I'll leave it at that. Review/Opinions please. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** Thank you soooo much OmegaScorpio for betaing my fic! Many hugs! XD ...Read...read and I again thank OmegaScorpio for the betaing! XD Thanks everyone else for your reviews... hope you all like this chapter! Also check my main page for a fanart I made of this fic!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

**Chapter 3**

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**It was only after the amethyst-eyed man had disappeared from sight when Hisoka shook himself to reality and cursed. He was still lost. With a sigh he realized then that he should have at least asked for directions to the dorms, but it had slipped his mind completely when he got lost in those beautiful eyes. 

He frowned and rubbed his forehead. He didn't need these thoughts. He just wanted to go rest and be alone but for some reason he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Hey! Hisoka-san!" A voice called to him from down the hallway. It had its annoying familiarity and Hisoka groaned in annoyance as he saw Glenn walking towards him.

Yet now he could find his way back to his dorm room. "G-Glenn." He muttered and sighed. He actually didn't want to talk to him so he kept himself quiet as the boy approached him with a smile.

"How are you feeling Hisoka-san? I was just about to come see how you were doing," He said, his brows furrowed with concern. "Well you must be better since Watari-san let you leave," he added.

"I'm better." Hisoka stated.

Glenn smiled more and Hisoka winced, idly wondering how much more smiling it would take for his face to crack...

"That's good! So are you well enough to come to class? It is your first day and I wouldn't think being late would be a good start. Although Tsuzuki-san is sometimes late and he's our teacher!" Glenn laughed slightly yet seemed to refrain himself from touching Hisoka.

Hisoka gave an awkward smile and shook his head. "I really think I should go to my room and rest. I didn't get much sleep last night and I feel I should catch up on some lost sleep."

"I see." Glenn smiled still. "I can walk you back to your room if you want. Just to make sure you'll be ok. It's my duty as head of the dorms to make sure all students are ok! Ok so maybe my responsibilities aren't that big but I'm a nice guy and I don't like seeing people sick!"

Hisoka couldn't believe that someone rambled on _this_ much. He simply nodded slowly. "I do need to be shown back to my room since I haven't got a chance to look around yet…" He admitted.

This was a slightly frustrating moment since people just seemed to drag on the conversation instead of getting to the point. Sure, he had a short temper and a wrath to match, but he didn't let on that he was very angry. He just wanted to go back to his room but Glenn wouldn't shut up.

"Hmm, that's right! I think we have to arrange a tour for you, that is when your better!" He exclaimed with a grin on his face.

Hisoka wanted to slap some sense into this boy and make him just show him to his room without talking his ear off. This was getting ridiculous. Glenn was a nice person but was very verbal and he tended to ramble.

Hisoka closed his eyes for a moment and looked back at Glenn. "I'm sure I can make out fine on my own. I just have to-." Hisoka started but the more-than-a-little grumpy boy was quickly interrupted.

"No, no! It would be much more fun to show you around. You know get to know some other people as well. Meet the teachers, staff, and anyone else. It would be easier that way!" Glenn exclaimed excitedly, oblivious to Hisoka's attempts to glare holes through his face.

"I'd _really_ like to go back to my room." Hisoka grumbled.

"Oh!" Glenn laughed a bit. "Yes, that's right!" He then began to walk down the empty hallway and leading Hisoka back to his dorm room.

Hisoka sighed and was glad that Glenn finally got the hint and stopped rambling about things that he possibly couldn't do. He didn't like a lot of excitement or large, or even sometimes small groups of people. He just couldn't handle excited people, it was always that feeling of all the emotions flowing into him that made him get nauseous. If everyone at this school were all like Glenn he would be doomed.

He glanced up at the brown haired boy ahead of him and knew that the boy was excited pretty easily. He didn't even have to question how someone like him was the head of the dorms. He was overly outspoken and seemed to have _a lot_ of school spirit. Hisoka knew this was the type of person he would definitely not get along with.

"Hmm, hey Hisoka-san?" Glenn asked looking behind at boy.

"What?"

Glenn stopped at turn to him taking out a folded paper and a pen from his pocket. "I need you to sign this." He stated holding out the paper and pen.

"Why?" Hisoka asked as he took the paper and pen.

"Ah-! Well you see it's something for class and I felt you should sign it now and I could hand it in for you!" Glenn smiled and rubbed the back of his head.

Hisoka really wasn't in the mood to argue or question this any further so he popped the top to the pen and wrote his name down on the paper then handed to back to Glenn. "Here."

Glenn stuffed the paper and pen back into his pocket and gestured for the boy to keep walking with him.

It wasn't really far to his room yet Hisoka's body just seemed to almost give out on him. He thanked Glenn hoping he would just leave and go to class but he didn't the boy was just to nice and had to make sure everything was ok.

Hisoka opened up the door and walked in. He slowly pulled off his shoes and glanced back at Glenn quietly.

"So yeah. I'll bring you your lunch later! I'll bring a few friends with me and get them to meet you! It might make you feel better with some company." Glenn offered.

Hisoka wanted to seriously kick Glenn out of his room and tell him to leave him the hell alone but his mind and body rejected the thought. He nodded a bit and he sat slowly on his bed.

"I'll make sure Tsuzuki-san knows that you won't be in class today but I think Tatsumi-san was going to tell him. But I'm sure he'll be disappointed he loves having new students join the class. Although technically I'm not in your class I'm in the grade ahead, Tsuzuki-san is really cool. He's one of the best teachers here!" Glenn explained with a happy sigh.

A teacher cool?

Hisoka couldn't believe what he was hearing. He figured that all teachers were strict and pushy. He figured this Tsuzuki Asato would be like he imagined all teachers. Though, he never had been taught by a teacher before, it had always been his father. And nothing could be worse than his father.

He remembered being a small child and a tall imposing shadow asked him history questions. He couldn't remember just what he was learning at that time but he remembered giving the wrong answers and getting hit for it. At that time it didn't occur to him that maybe his father hated him, his only thoughts were that he had let his proud father down and was being punished for it. From then on he strived to know everything for fear of getting hurt again, and maybe... maybe to prove to his father that he too belonged in the Kurosaki bloodline.

"Hisoka-san?"

Hisoka closed his eyes.

"H-Hisoka-san?"

Hisoka snapped his eyes back open and looked up at the dark haired boy who still stood at the doorway. "Yes?"

"You kind of dazed out there I thought you were going to faint again. I was just saying I had to get going since class is about start. I'll be back at lunch to visit you though." Glenn smiled a bit and waved to the boy.

Hisoka waved back weakly and lay back on he bed as he heard the door shut.

"I can't believe it. He just wouldn't shut up." Hisoka muttered to himself and pulled himself up to the pillow and cuddled his face against the soft pillow. "I don't know how much I can take of this."

He closed his eyes sleepily only to find himself drifting off to sleep. He never really fell asleep this fast in a long time. Even when he was home he seemed to never sleep. His thoughts would just increase in his mind leaving him wide-awake to question them.

Flashes of silver. The white glare of moonlight on white, and...

A voice. A cold, sickly-sweet soul that gripped his spine with cold fingers- paralyzing him.

_No one loves you._

_Pitiful boy. None will feel for this body of yours…_

_No one loves you the way you are…_

_Who would want to look twice at you?_

…_No one thinks you're beautiful._

This voice, this voice that was no longer sweet, echoed through his head. He couldn't place whose voice it was but their words. Those words, those cruel words. They were true... all true.

His hands were cold, yet his touch was unusually gentle. Hisoka could feel them caressing over his body, touching him when they shouldn't have. The words he spoke and the caressing hands were enough to make him scream but when he opened and closed his mouth not even a whimper escaped his throat.

He felt his breath move towards his lips.

_...Feel ashamed… your body… No one loves…_

Hisoka shot up in his bed. He swiped at his face angrily to rid himself of the falling tears then pulled his knees to his chest, slowly rocking back and forth to calm himself. He hated crying. Crying only proved to him that those dream word were true, that he was pitiful.

The nightmare was so real though, just like all the others he had. Those words of cruelty always cut deep and he could only feel the truth behind them. His dreams had started to become more frequent as he slept- or rather they were nightmares. They were getting worse... his dreams- nightmares, every night he'd see more, feel more, bleed more. The words got harsher, the hands colder and the pain... How was it possible for people to be so cruel even as he slept?

He remembered now why he could not trust anyone around him. In the end there was nothing but pain. No one could love him, no one would want him.

He let out a shaky breath and wiped away the last of the tears from his face. He had felt so relaxed when he had drifted off to sleep... He snorted; he should have known it was too good to be true...

Those mocking words entered his mind again and the lean boy groaned. They all rang true and they all hurt. Why...

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a continuous knocking began at his door. He made his way across the still bare room and opened the door to see Glenn with a tray in hand. Hisoka hid slightly behind the door and peaked at him.

"I brought you you're lunch Hisoka-san!" Glenn smiled.

Hisoka forced a small and absolutely fake smile. "Yeah, thanks."

Glenn, instead of handing Hisoka the tray, burst into the room and set his tray on the desk near his bed. "I'll eat lunch with you! I need to ask some questions too!"

Hisoka just now noticed the other tray Glenn held and he wanted to slap himself to make sure this wasn't just another nightmare. He walked over to his bed and watched as Glenn pulled a chair near the bed.

"A-ah. I don't mind eating alone you know…" Hisoka muttered but he didn't think Glenn heard him as the boy started talking about something else.

"Tsuzuki-san was really sad when he found out you weren't feeling well. He said he hopes you feel well soon," Glenn said in between chew of his sandwich. "Hmm, I also wanted to mention to you that there are going to be a ton of activities and events currently going on at the school. I was wondering what you're interested in and I could get you involved in them." Glenn then snickered slightly but then stopped himself and looked at Hisoka who stood there with a confused look.

"Uh- No thank you. I'm not really interested in participating in any activity at all right now..." Hisoka stated.

"What? You're not interested?" Glenn almost pouted but quickly abandoned the thought in favor of eating the sandwich.

"No." Hisoka sat at the edge of his bed and looked down at the floor.

Glenn sighed. "That's too bad. You must care about your studies more then? Right?"

Hisoka nodded slowly but he didn't really care either way. He didn't care for getting a good grade or if he was popular. Right now he didn't know what he wanted. His life was already messed up enough... The last thing he needed was something else to add to the list.

Glenn tilted his head. "Hmm, You're quiet."

Hisoka frowned and looked at Glenn. "So?"

"Well, just saying." He laughed slightly.

Hisoka didn't feel like responding to that. This boy was too rude and outspoken.

"That was good! Aren't you going to eat?" He asked as he stretched. "You should try to eat something. I brought you something that might be easy on you since you're sick."

"It's ok. I'll eat some later."

The dark eyed boy shrugged. "Alright that's fine then," He stood up with his nearly empty tray. "I have to be going. I'm in the drama club we're in the process of choosing a play to do. I was going to discuss it with the others. Well, see you later Hisoka-san."

Hisoka nodded and watched Glenn leave his room for the second time that day. He really wished he would stay away from him, but it was the annoyingly extroverted people like him that wouldn't leave no matter what he did or said.

He got up and wandered over to the window and pushed it open letting the cool breeze blow into the room. He sighed and leaned against the ledge of the window. He blinked as he saw a small bug land on his hand.

"A butterfly…at this time of year?"

It was so... beautiful. Its colors were so vibrant and pure.

He cupped the butterfly in his hands and lifted the creature closer to his face. Wide, emerald eyes observed the butterfly's large green and blue wings that were tipped with black and speckled with color. Gently he smoothed a finger down the black abdomen of the butterfly. It was so strange, the kinds of myths that were made up about butterflies never really made much sense, he never asked his parents about them either because... He shook his head and returned his eyes to the butterfly's wings. Some myths told them to be witches, others that a butterfly was merely a sign of longliveity, but the myth that always caught his attention was the one that claimed butterflies to be dead souls that waited to pass through Purgatory. A drawn out sigh escaped his lips, what did it matter anyways? It was just a butterfly...

"You're lucky," the boy whispered. "I wish I could be free, like you. I wish I could do whatever I wished... like you..." With that he stretched his arms out the window and opened his hands to let the butterfly fly off into the sky. It's colors shining from its wings from sun but its small form was soon out of sight.

"Beautiful…."

tbc...

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What can be plotted for the next chapter...hmmm...hehe... Anyways got any comments for this chapter? Review if you like! 


	5. Chapter 4

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** Hope you're all likeing the story so far. I'm hoping its catching people's interest since it's slow progressing. Still hope you all like, again thanks for the reviews! Ah, anyways, read the chapter now! XD

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

**_Chapter 4_

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The next morning had come quickly, far too quickly in Hisoka's opinion, as the tell tale rays of light shone slightly through the closed curtains. With a sigh Hisoka sat on his bed sifting through his luggage as he unpacked his clothing, books and other items and placed them upon his bed. He didn't think he had packed this much... Hell, he didn't know he even _owned_ this much stuff to begin with...

Perhaps his luggage had gone hunting other luggage without his knowing, just like a Tyrannosaurus rex during the Cretaceous period, and caught its prey resulting in gaining a few pounds along with several new items...? Hisoka blinked and shook his head as he slowly pulled a few of his favorite books out of his bag. Perhaps he had just read far too many historical and fantasy styled books... they, of course, were his favorite genres in literature. Horror being too stereotypically violent, predictable and far beyond the grasp of anything sensible. Romance was too gaudy- although sometimes bearable, but still unrealistic and farfetched while anything dealing with politics just bored him to tears.

He placed the books on his desk then turned and gathered his clothes together, sorting them and putting them in their proper places, when the black school uniform caught his eye. He had to get ready soon or he'd be late, the mental image of Glenn knocking on his door if he was late plopped into his thoughts and he frowned, shuddering at the thought as he took the uniform from the hanger and went into the bathroom to shower and change.

Slipping off his clothing, he turned on both the hot and cold knobs and stuck his hand in, patiently waiting for the water to adjust to his liking before climbing in. The warmth of the water felt good against his skin and he let out a long sigh as he felt the tension in his muscles relax. Dark thoughts of well, _everything_, slipped to the back of his mind and in their place was a sense of tranquility that Hisoka was faintly surprised to have. Slowly he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, a half-smile on his face as warm water fell in streams down his body. This was why he loved the rain so much, even though it was always cold, it cleansed him and almost seemed to wash away the... the... what? What did it wash away? It was so faint... and...

_Cold..._ Suddenly his large emerald eyes snapped open and a shiver ran down his spine. Icy fingers clutched at his chest, tightening with each breath and he quickly pushed against the now-rough textured wall to run away only to slip and fall backwards, slamming into the surprisingly cold and slippery grass beneath him knocking the air out of his lungs in the process. Seconds later air crept painstakingly slow back into his parted lips and inexplicable panic rose up. The footsteps of a predator... He was coming to get him, he had to get away, he had to run! Would anyone hear him if he cried for help? Oh well, it didn't matter, he was going to scream anyway...

With a gasp Hisoka snapped back to reality. Completely drained of all energy he stayed still, lying on his back in the tub with his head turned to the side as he listened absently to the cold shower water splash against the tub. What had just happened?

A minute later he stood up, carefully ignoring the lingering pain in his side and back, and he turned the water off. Reaching for the towel on the nearby hanger he wrapped it around himself and climbed out of the shower to look in the slightly fogged mirror at himself. Thin lips, wheat colored hair, emerald eyes, a lean figure with pale, flawless skin... Well wasn't he the pretty thing... A cold light entered his eyes, he was sure he heard those words before... He shook his head, it was just from everyone's thoughts. Along with what they'd all like to do with him should they ever find him alone it was sickening to hear...

"…Hmm." He turned away and frowned.

He dried his body and quickly pulled on his uniform. It was black with the school emblem on the upper left side with a white button up shirt underneath. He tied the red tie around his neck and frowned, feeling rather uncomfortable in the new uniform. It didn't really help that the material was heavy and itchy but on a hot day many students were going to pass out. He really didn't want to know how everyone could wear these things every day.

With a inward sigh he also remembered the black shined shoes that still sat at the bottom of the closet that he had to wear with the uniform. He could only imagine how uncomfortable they would be. Too bad he was required to wear them.

Leaving the bathroom he looked into the closet and hurriedly put them on, brushed his still damp hair- although it didn't matter that it was still damp since his hair always dried fast, and then sat down on the bed to look over the school map to find where his classroom was. He wanted to get there before everyone else so he wouldn't have to walk through a crowd of noisy, annoying, over zealous boys who couldn't control their hormones let alone their emotions.

"There it is, it's not too far from here," Hisoka muttered to himself, tracing the hallway on the map with his finger. He took the paper in one hand and held the school bag in the other hand. He opened the door and peeked out into an empty hallway. He sighed in relief then headed down the hallway following the directions of the map.

He realized as he walked that he would probably be made to do some stupid introduction speech about himself, or get asked questions. Even made to socialize. He scowled; he was not going to let anyone tell him what to do. He was going to disappear and be left alone and if some overly happy classmates didn't allow him that small privilege they were going to wish they had just stayed in bed that morning.

He stopped at the opened door, looking back down to the map to be sure that this was his destination, he slowly peeked into the room to find a rather plain, empty classroom like he had imagined before. Taking a few steps in his eyes scanned the room and he tried to think of where he should sit without having to deal with a lot of people physically around him. He nearly laughed in pure relief when his eyes fell on a seat in the corner but decided to spare himself and turned his head to look at the clock on the wall instead. Finding himself with some time until more people had to arrive he walked over and placed his school bag and paper on the lone desk near the corner and eyed the books on the shelves. They were filled with different sorts of topics. They where filled with schoolbooks to general reading books. He skimmed through the titles to see if there was anything that seemed worth reading.

"Some of these actually seem slightly interesting." He muttered and pulled a small, yet thick book from the shelf. It seemed like a lot of these books were barely used let alone touched. Opening it to a random page, he then began to read out loud in a low and soft voice. "The first historical recorded encounter of a people displaying the cultural traits associated with the Celts comes from northern Italy around 400 BC, when a previously unknown group of barbarians came down from the Alps and displaced the Etruscans from the fertile Po valley, a displacement that helped to push the Etruscans from history's limelight. The next encounter…-."

Finding himself concentrating on reading the book he never felt the presence of another person entering the room and standing some ways away in the doorway. He stopped suddenly as another voice in the room began to speak making Hisoka turn around quickly to see that same amethyst-eyed man he had seen the other day. He felt a slight blush come to his checks.

"…With the Celts came with the still young Roman Empire, directly to the south of the Po. The Romans in fact had sent three envoys to the besieged Etruscans to study this new force." Hisoka blinked, speechless as the other man finished his sentence and a soft smile formed upon the dark haired man's face. Hisoka closed the book and fumbled to put it back onto the shelf.

"You were reading about the Celts were you not?"

Hisoka nodded slightly not really sure himself what he had been reading since he had completely ignored the title of the book. "I'm sorry." It was all Hisoka could think of to say he really didn't know what he was sorry for.

"Sorry? What for? Ah! Wait, wait, wait!"

Hisoka stared wide-eyed as the gentle look quickly turned into excitement. He took a small step back and stared at the amethyst-eyed man.

"You're my new student right?" He exclaimed in a happy tone. "Hisoka…umm…Kurosaki Hisoka right?"

"Y-yes." Hisoka couldn't believe what he just heard. This was his teacher? This was Tsuzuki Asato? He could only imagine teachers as old and cranky. But _he_ was different. He was young, seemed energetic and excited. "Y-you're Tsuzuki-san?" Hisoka asked in a small voice.

Tsuzuki smiled at him and nodded. "So how are you feeling today? Glenn told me that you were sick." He stopped approaching the startled boy and went to his desk.

Hisoka watched and could feel his heart beat speed up. "I'm fine now. Thank you." He walked over to where he had placed his school bag and sat down on the seat. Looking over at his teacher he noticed him rummaging through his desk, mumbling quietly to himself and Hisoka closed his eyes with a sigh. He was so tired already and the developing headache didn't really help matters either. Probably because he got so little sleep last night.

Another small sigh escaped his lips as he heard voices beginning to trail down the hallways. The mixture of laughing, whining and just the diversity of voices were making Hisoka's muscles tense and he quickly squashed the urge to scream at them all to be quiet as soon as it sprung up. He _really_ wasn't in the mood for noise today and as students started filing into the room he felt his headache grow worse.

He could already feel the emotions spilling from their minds.

Even in the corner, far away from it all, their emotions swamped him and he leaned back in his chair crossing his arms in attempt to ignore it all. Within the next few minutes the classroom had become full of chattering students, some sat in groups chatting, while others were catching up on their forgotten or unfinished school work while the rest just slumped lazily over their desks.

Hisoka gave a mental sigh of relief, as he was happily unnoticed. Not only was it was annoying to have emotions bombarding his mind, but to have that _and_ constant chatter was even worse. Though, the throbbing in his temple was _still _there...

He could still feel everyone's emotions too, flooding in from his oblivious classmates who couldn't control their emotions to save their lives. He almost choked as a surge of happiness nearly overwhelmed him... then again, he should be thankful that no one wanted to touch him, physical contact was much worse.

The first time he experienced his 'ability' was around his parents, he had found it so fun and exciting that he began to repeat the thoughts of his father or mother to them. He had smiled at them feeling rather proud of himself for showing them that he could do something so interesting, something that may have made _them_ proud. At first they had just thought it was coincidental or just didn't want to talk about it with him, but these incidents had continued to happen and the boy's parents had began to become jumpy or hateful whenever he was around.

_"Hisoka's scary..."_

Sometimes... sometimes, late at night he could hear the far off murmuring of their arguments and the arguments would increase... They began to fight more often then almost everyday. The anger that Hisoka felt from the both of them combined made him tremble and once it nearly made him sick. Soon after they became abusive, whether mentally of physically, both his mother and father would not hesitate to hurt him...

"Hisoka..."

_"What a horrifying child. It's like he sees through our minds." _

He couldn't even remember exactly how old he was at that time, but it wasn't old enough to comprehend what was going on or even why they were doing such a thing. Angrily Hisoka gritted his teeth, was it his fault that he couldn't control his empathy at the time, that he didn't know? No, it wasn't, but they didn't give a damn and they locked him away, they _threw him away_. He was refused when he asked to go outside to play and even before all this he couldn't remember playing with any local children.

"Hisoka?"

_"You're not my child."_

He found it odd... why was it that he could remember his childhood so well but come 12, 13, 14, everything became blank? It was as if he had slammed into a brick wall wedged deep in his mind. Was the monotony of those years so tedious that he just shoved the memories to the back of his mind? Or did...

"Hisoka!"

_"You monster!"_

A gasp escaped Hisoka's mouth as his eyes shot open and looked around the quiet classroom. Every student stared at the boy their faces pinched as if annoyed or scared. A small frown marred his face as he looked up to see his dark haired teacher hovering nearby with a concerned look on his face.

To say he was embarrassed probably would have been the understatement of the year, the fact that everyone wouldn't stop _staring_ was one thing but the emotions ranging from confused to indifferent was quickly making the situation unbearable. Through it all he managed to croak out a, "I… I'm fine." before sinking into his seat.

Tsuzuki's face continued to look worried but he gave a small smile. "Are you sure? You were really out of it there. Do you need to see the doctor?" He questioned.

Hisoka shook his head. "N-no, no. It's fine. I'm fine."

"If you say so. Then if you're up to it how about you introduce yourself to us all!" Tsuzuki suggested, his voice once again in an upbeat tone. "Start with, hmm… let's see just tell us about your family, your likes, dislikes. Anything you think you feel up to sharing or would help us to get to know you better!"

Hisoka scowled to himself then sighed, standing he stated, "Fine. I'm Kurosaki Hisoka, previously home schooled, but my parents decided to send me here instead." He tried hard to say it without disgust and kept his voice monotone and calm. Yet in the back of his mind all he really wanted to tell them was _'I don't want to be here, you are all already annoying me so if you don't mind, I would like you all to leave me alone so we all can be happy.' _But he knew better then to say such rude things and cause an argument or to make people angry with him.

Tsuzuki blinked in surprise at the boy. "Ah, well I'm sure you'll get along well with everyone here and have a great time! My class if always a fun place and I never give lots of assignments. I'm very easy going so I hope you'll enjoy yourself while taking part in my classes!"

Hisoka bowed his head respectfully. "Thank you, Tsuzuki-sensei."

"Now…" Tsuzuki wandered back over to his desk and picked a thick textbook from the desk as Hisoka sat back down again. "Does anyone remember what we went over yesterday…?"

Hisoka felt as if all eyes were glancing at him the entire time that morning. He felt as if everyone was giving him the _'what a freak'_ or _'he's so weird'_ look. He didn't care about the looks but their thoughts that each of them projected so loudly confirmed his suspicions and the emotions accompanying them made it that much worse.

It's not like he cared what anyone thought. They were not important to him. No one would ever be important to him. He would never let himself become so desperate as to have to resort to friendship. It meant nothing to him because with friendship came betrayal, envy, hate, jealousy and what Hisoka knew caused the most pain of them all, what he never wanted to experience, _love_.

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Yaay, next chapter is finished, hope you like it. Review Please.


	6. Chapter 5

**Captive Butterfly**

**Author Notes:** Nothing important as of now, just enjoy the chapter and keep the nice reviews coming. Hope you enjoy. :)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Yami no Matsuei.

**_Chapter 5_****_

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Today just wasn't going to _end_. That, or the clock was going backwards.

To add to that, the lectures Tsuzuki was giving were getting more and more difficult to comprehend by the minute. Not that they were complex, or even remotely confusing, it was more that the class was overly enthusiastic. Which in turn caused most of the students to become excited, and emit more emotions than they had when they had entered the class, which was beginning to make Hisoka unstable.

Hisoka grumbled to himself. He couldn't even put notes down to his notebook because his concentration was so bad. He'd be able to get down a line or two of notes when suddenly he'd wonder what was for lunch or if he could go use the bathroom and as he turned in his seat to stand up to ask he would stop, suddenly realizing that those weren't his. Some students, though, were actually more interested than others and their thoughts and emotions- heaven forbid he forget _those_, leaped with excitement. Those kind of thoughts seemed, to the downtrodden boy, like a high pitched shrill compared to the blaring noise coming from those that were thinking about their other classes, assignments, friends, after class activities, family and just about everything else.

He felt like yelling, screaming, and even smashing his desk into someone's head just to get them to stop thinking, not that it'd work. Not only would that be against the way he was taught to act as the heir of the proud Kurosaki line, but it would cause all his other classmates' to panic, their emotions and thoughts would go haywire, **he'd** get sick or get a headache or even passout, and in the end that classmate would still be thinking. This time about the crack in his skull.

Finally giving up, he scowled in frustration and pretended to take notes, instead he rested his hand to his cheek and leaned on the desk.

_This is stupid._ He thought to himself as he doodled and scribbled in his notebook. He was almost pouting. The sunlight from outside had started to pour into the classroom as the day progressed and eventually, Hisoka didn't know if he was having a bad day or not but, the sun beamed right towards him.

He grumbled and figured that nothing else could get any worse then it already was. But as if he had just jinxed himself he heard someone say his name.

It was Tsuzuki. _Shit. Was he asking a question about the lesson he was teaching?_

Hisoka rubbed his now burning eyes due to the sun that was now constantly flashed in his face. He mumbled and cursed to himself and heard his name being called upon once again.

"Hisoka? Are you alright?"

Hisoka squinted at his teacher and nodded.

"Alright, then, uh, could you answer and discuss what I just asked?" Tsuzuki observed the now nervous boy.

Hisoka felt himself fumble with his words as he realized just now that he had no idea what Tsuzuki was even teaching. He had no idea just what to say. His mind raced to find a decent answer to give him but he just kept coming up to a blank and was starting to get a sick feeling in his stomach and again felt all eyes on him. He heard the thoughts of others trying and tried to use their thoughts in hopes that one of them was thinking of the answer to the question but found himself too nervous and unsure to even listen to all the thoughts that invaded his mind, let alone one.

"I-I…." Hisoka stuttered trying to think of something to spit out anything that didn't sound too bad. "I don't know." He managed to say trying to shield his mind from the other students but he didn't succeed as they were thinking about him.

_-...definitely weird.-_

_-Tch, **maybe** if you paid attention you'd know it, idiot.-_

_-What is he, stupid?-_

Tsuzuki smiled a bit, noticing how uncomfortable Hisoka was. "It's ok Hisoka." He then returned to the book and began to continue on reading while Hisoka turned to stare blankly out the window.

Outside Hisoka's face was nothing but calm, cool and collected, looking as if he couldn't care less about being humliated, but on the inside he seethed and raged. He felt like an _idiot_, he probably could have answered Tsuzuki's question without a problem if he just somehow blocked everyone else out. An angry bubble of self-loathing grew in his stomach, he was still nothing but an ignorant and helpless boy who couldn't control his empathy.

It didn't seem too long until Tsuzuki closed the book and clapped his hands together. "Well that's all for this morning! It's close enough to lunch, so how about we all get there first before anyone else!" Tsuzuki exclaimed smiling childishly.

Hisoka gave his teacher a weird look, the only thought bouncing around the man's head was of sweets. He shook his head and closed his notebook, still sitting in his seat as he waited patiently for all the students to leave, there was no way he'd even think about getting out of the room in a coherent state with all those emotion bouncing all over the place.

Just as Tsuzuki was about to leave the room he stopped and turned to look at the pale boy. "You coming Hisoka?" He questioned.

Hisoka shook his head and muttered something. He got up from his desk and picked up his books. "I have some things I need to do," the blonde boy said as he walked up to the door.

"See you after lunch then," his teacher chirped merrily, Hisoka didn't even have look at the man to know he was beaming and quickly exited the room. He wanted some quiet time to himself.

He began to head towards his room when he stopped suddenly as he saw Glenn and a few others standing around laughing, telling jokes it seemed. He didn't want to go near them but they were blocking the way. He sighed, knowing Glenn- for the short amount of time as it was, he would probably forcibly drag him off so he could 'bond' with the school. He scowled and promptly turned to find another way around them.

"Hi-soooka-san!" Glenn almost sang.

Hisoka stopped, annoyance, exasperation and anger warring on his face before he forced his lips into an awkward half smile and turned. "Hey," He said softly. Hisoka held his books clumsily and tried to keep the smile on his face without letting on that he all he wanted to do with them was chuck them at the nearest person. Coincidentally, that was Glenn.

The taller boy ran up to him and ruffled Hisoka's hair playfully. "I thought you'd come this way. This time you _can't_ make any excuses not to come with me! I know your new here and all, but don't be so shy!"

_Shy? SHY!_ Hisoka grumbled inwardly. He wasn't _shy_, he just didn't like attention and he didn't like people, simple as that.

"Well, I-" Hisoka started to say but was cut off as Glenn pulled him by the arm nearly causing the books to drop out of his arms.

He pulled Hisoka up to the small group of boys and smiled widely. "This is Hisoka-san, the new kid." Glenn shoved Hisoka forward with ease.

He glanced up at the first boy who had black short hair and brown eyes. He also noticed a piercing in the boys left eyebrow. The next was taller than Glenn, he had blonde shoulder length hair and pale blue eyes and the last looked somewhat similar to him aside from having a slight darker tanned complexion and brown hair.

They all waved and gave a smile.

"We're all part of the drama club. A lot of club members end up hanging around each other," Glenn said with a smirk on his face. "Oh, I_ should _tell you everyone's name shouldn't I!"

Hisoka gave a weak smile- his cheeks now beginning to hurt from the strain, and a small nod.

"His name is Graham," he pointed to the black haired boy. "This is Fritz." He pointed to the blond boy. Finally he pointed to what seemed to be the darker version of himself, "and last is our acting, very talented genius Hijiri. Hey Hisoka-san, you two sort of look alike."

Hijiri smiled. It was a smile that could light up a room. Hisoka's small smile faded.

_We aren't alike._ Whispered a small voice in the back of the blonde's head. This boy may have been similar somewhat in appearance, but other then that he was nothing but his complete opposite.

"Hey Hisoka we were just about ready to go to lunch. Come join us, pu-leaaase!" Glenn almost sounded like he was whining.

Hisoka frowned in annoyance. "I... um… I'm busy right now. I… still have some unpacking to do and I want to review over the lessons I learned this morning. Sorry," he lied quickly, he would say anything to get out of going to lunch with them. The dark haired boy sighed unhappily, he knew this was yet another excuse, but he let it go since maybe Hisoka was telling the truth?

"Alright. Oh hey, could you come by the drama room after classes? There are a few things that I need to talk to you about."

Hisoka narrowed his eyes. Mentally, Glenn was hard to read. He was one of those people who could have alot on their mind, yet mysteriously still remain airheaded, so he couldn't pin point the exact thoughts about what he wanted to discuss.

"Ok. I'll go." Hisoka muttered, the feeling of impending doom in the pit of his stomach. Glenn grinned and the feeling doubled.

"Great!" Glenn gave thumbs up to the boy and started to walk off with the other boys, leaving Hisoka on his own. Hisoka looked down to the floor, his plastic smile quickly dropping off his lips. He felt lonely, he felt tired. Thinking about it now, maybe he could have been a normal teenage boy for once and joined them for lunch, just for a day. Maybe he could've stayed and talked with other boys his age, and maybe he could've laughed and smiled- a _real _smile, with them too.

It would have been a Lie. It would have been all a _Lie._ The moment those boys found out what he could do they'd leave him in the dark before he could even begin to think of the work 'wait'.

With a heavy sigh he scuffed his feet down the hallway towards his dorm room. With a push Hisoka opened the door to his room and dropped the books carelessly to the floor. "What a waste of my time this is. It's really rather pointless," he said to himself as he made his way across the door and to the bed.

"My teacher has turned out to be a goof ball. I can't believe he's still a teacher here…" Hisoka muttered lying down on his bed. "I wish he wouldn't ask me questions. I can't answer them with all those dimwitted students carelessly spilling out every thought in their heads. I could…probably give a decent answer if it wasn't for…. this cursed empathy." He ran his hand over the soft material of the cotton bed sheet.

Hisoka moved his hands to the uniform and loosened the tie and opened a few of the buttons to the white shirt underneath his jacket.

"Everyone seemed to ignore me. No one seemed to notice me unless it was me being absent minded." He ran a hand to his waist and stared at the ceiling. "Like anyone would ever notice someone like me." He closed his eyes and turned on his side. "I'm no where near beautiful enough for anyone… to notice me."

His eyes began to sting as a warm liquid began to fall from his eyes. "… Tears?" He muttered rubbing his eyes fiercely to rid himself of the falling tears. "I can't cry… There's nothing I can do…about… anything."

He started to feel weak, both mind and body. His eyes continued to stay partially shut and his body was limp. It felt like he had no energy left. He didn't care, it did not matter if he slept since he could have a quick sleep before his afternoon classes.

Slowly kicking off his shoes, Hisoka closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep.

The warmth of the room seemed to increase slightly and Hisoka's body was starting to sweat. Although it was more like a cold sweat since the boy seemed to be having an unpleasant sleep. He let out slight whimpers almost as if he was in pain.

He suddenly felt a cold icy hand roam down his chest and to his waist and gradually down to his hips. Images of blood red, silver, pale skin. Again. Over and over it repeated in his mind.

Hisoka gripped the bed sheets strongly and let out a soft cry.

"**_Boy…"_ **

A shiver ran down his spine and unconsciously he gripped the sheets tighter. The icy hands continued their descent and he began to thrash around the bed.

_**"You are mine."**_

"No!" He bolted upwards and tipped off the bed, hitting the floor with a muffled thump as he took the sheets with him. Eyes wide, he felt all breath leave his small form and his eyes blankly stared at the darkened ceiling. With a sudden gasp, he began frantically scratching at his throat, he couldn't _breathe!_ Something was in his throat and he couldn't get it out! His scratching suddenly became more desperate, his nails digging deeper into his neck as if trying to claw a hole in his neck. When that didn't work he rolled on his side and started to gag. Soon after, that transformed into violent coughing and he pulled himself up a bit, continuing to cough and gag until he felt something come up.

He stopped the gagging as crimson spit dripped to the floor. His body quivered and shook and his eyes stung with tears which he was trying his best to keep back. With a shaky breath he suddenly noticed that there was frantic pounding at his door and his eyes glanced at the time. Wide, teary eyes stared, it was now late evening.

"Hisoka! Open up!"

It was Tsuzuki. Hisoka prayed to whatever god that didn't hate him that he didn't hear him and slowly stood up, his legs wobbling weakly as he tried to gather his strength back. He bit his lower lip and unlocked the door, opening it a bit to peek at his teacher looking down at him with worry.

"Hisoka are you ok? I heard you coughing…are you still feeling sick? Do you need to go see Watari?" Tsuzuki's face was full of worry.

Hisoka shook his head, immediately regretting it as it began to pound. "I-I'm fine."

Tsuzuki's continued to look worried, but smiled a bit at the boy. "You missed classes. I came by a few times, but you never answered, that's when I saw Glenn walking around the dorms and _he_ asked if I had seen you."

"I…overslept. I'm sorry for missing classes. It won't happen again," Hisoka muttered.

Tsuzuki tried to push the door open some more but before he made any progress Hisoka leaned against the door, refusing to let him in. "I made a few notes for you about what we went over. So you can try and catch up a bit better."

Hisoka took the papers from Tsuzuki. "Thank you, sensei."

"Uh-" Tsuzuki hesitated and smiled nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Mind going for a walk for a bit? I wanted to talk to you about some things."

Hisoka blinked. "I…" He thought about making an excuse but something changed his mind as the young boy nodded with a small smile. Oh well, it wasn't like he _wanted_ to go back to sleep at the moment...

Tsuzuki smiled softly back. "Alright. Get your shoes. I'll wait for you out here."

Hisoka closed the door slowly and walked over to the bed, sitting down to pull his shoes on as his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

_Why did I agree to go with him? I could of said no. But I didn't. I just…couldn't say no._

………

_**Why…?**_

tbc.

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**_Hope you enjoyed, please review. :) 


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